Some people don't like me

Fact: there are people who don’t like me.  You may be thinking that this fact is shocking- but it’s true.  Some people think rather negative things about me.  Perhaps they think I’m fake, weird, woo-woo, fat, unstylish, freaky and maybe a whole bunch of other awful adjectives. Just this past week someone called me a liar and manipulator behind my back AND to my face just for fun.  Ohhhh, snap.

It used to cause me a great deal of pain to not be liked.  There was nothing I wanted more than for everyone to think that I was the best thing since grilled cheese.  I wanted to control how everyone felt about me, even if that came at a great cost to the truth of who I am.   I felt completely and totally invested in their opinions of me, even the people who I didn’t really like or respect.   I wanted everyone to see that I was worthy, that I was good, that I was enough.  

I wanted people to validate me to myself. Please tell me that I am like-able. Please tell me I am a good person. 

Needing someone to like me to feel good is like needing sardines to bake a cake. Not only is it unnecessary, it’s not going to taste very good in the end.

Now I truly understand that some people just don’t “get” me.  They don’t like how I look or feel or act.  The shift I made means that I am no longer invested in this energy.  I let go of it like I am letting go of a cheap helium balloon from a restaurant that I don’t really like…watching the negativity float away into the sky until it explodes from the pressure of the atmosphere.  Pop! goes the judgment.

Those who love me know that I am enough.  They know who I really am and what is really going on in my heart.  They know my love, my struggle, my passions, my views on the world.  They know that I am flawed, that I am human, that I am doing the very best I can to trust my intuition and love deeply in this world.  They know I am sensitive, passionate, caring, and on a good day - kinda funny. 

The haters gonna hate. I’m happy knowing thatI’m no longer watering down who I truly am in order to make them feel comfortable.

It’s taken 40 years, but like me or don’t.

I’m good either way.